Monday, December 5, 2011

Kindle Fire

Desperately desiring to be on the cutting edge of...book reading...I saved up my birthday cash/gift cards and got myself the latest in rectangular computing devices, the Kindle Fire (which, if you haven't heard, can do a whole lot more than read books).  I've had it for just about a week now, and so far am glad I made the investment.  Here's a quick breakdown:

Aesthetically, its a slick little contraption.  Elegantly black, it has a rubberized back surface which is comfy to grip and keeps it from slipping off surfaces.  Since it's a touch pad device, there is only one physical  button, the power button.  While that keeps the clutter down, a physical volume control would be nice.  The LCD screen seems durable enough, and I hear tell its made of something called Gorilla Glass which is supposedly uber-resistant to scratches and such.  I like the size, though some may prefer something larger along the lines of an iPad.  It's 7.5x4.7, which is the perfect size to fit in my back or cargo pocket of my pants/shorts.  The display itself is seven inches diagonal.

I've already had a couple people ask me if its better than an iPad, but that's kinda like comparing apples and oranges.  Or maybe tangerines and oranges.  The Kindle Fire is somewhere between an e-reader and a full featured tablet.  The iPad is capable I'm sure of doing more than the Kindle Fire, but I'm not so sure about $250 to $400 more.  The iPad commercials like to show Appleostles recording albums, painting masterpieces, editing movies, and performing other such wonders on the latest model, but let's be honest here for a second.  What is it that we actually do on our tablets?  Watch Netflix, listen to music, surf the web, read books, and play games.  Am I right?  Be honest.  The Kindle Fire does all that, and very well.

Pair it with Amazon Prime ($70 a year) and it's tough to beat in those fields in my opinion.  With Prime you get a Netflixish video library for free, free access to the Kindle Lending Library, 5GB of free storage in the Cloud, plus free two day shipping on almost anything from Amazon.com.  I thought Prime was worth it before just for the free shipping.

You can view most of your documents (PDF, Word, Excel, what have you), but at this point anyway, I don't know that you could do much actual creating.  Even if I had an iPad, I don't know that I'd use it to type substantive documents, as virtual keyboards can be exceedingly frustrating.  I hate editing video even on my laptop.  Give me a desktop for those jobs.

There are some minuses.  The aforementioned volume control buttons would be nice.  You can't customize your homescreen much, which is a little odd.  At about 7GB it has less storage than an iPad or a Barnes & Noble Nook, though with the Nook that is somewhat deceiving.  The newest Nooks have 16GB of storage, but only 1GB of that is available for user created content.  The other 15GB have to be used for content purchased from B&N.  Lame.  An SD card slot on the Fire would be a plus as well.  The app selection is not nearly as wide as the  iPad, but since it's brand new I'd wager it won't be long before a lot more will be available.  But it does have Angry Birds!

If you plan on using your tablet-esque device for creating content, you have the extra $400 to throw around, and are looking to join the Cult of Steve, then an iPad or similar is probably more in your wheelhouse.  Godspeed to you on your quest.  But, if you plan on mainly consuming content and like having extra money in your bank account, I say Fire away!  See what I did there...with the Fire......?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Barenaked Ladies: Barenaked for the Holidays

Author's Note: Another oldie but a goodie (with at least one timely update). With the holidays rapidly approaching I thought it appropriate. Plus any time you have the words bare, naked, and ladies on your blog it's sure to increase traffic. Even when those word in fact are describing pasty Canadian men. At least I assume they're pasty. How could they not be.

No Christmas season is complete without a plethora of music. Whether it’s classics like Bing Crosby crooning White Christmas or Nat King Cole's dulcet mellowed-by-Lucky-Strike tones of The Christmas Song or bizarro interpretations from equally bizarroly named Manheim Steamroller or the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, the music makes it. As much as I love Bing and the other familiar holiday hits, I’m always looking for new selections to add to the playlist. One of my new favorites is the Barenaked Ladies’ Barenaked for the Holidays (don’t worry mom, the Barenaked Ladies are in fact fully clothed men, though they are from Canada).

I discovered this one a few years ago and immediately put it into heavy rotation. It’s a mix of reinterpreted classics and several very good originals. They even tossed in a few of Hanukah songs to round things out. A few of my favorite selections:

GodRest Ye Merry Gentlemen/We Three Kings (feat. Sarah McLachlan) – God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen is one of my favorite Christmas songs and I have many different twists on it in my own collection, but I think this one may be my favorite. It’s kind of a jazzy, acoustic rendition, and very hip and “with it”, as all the kids are saying these days. A definite winner.

Elf’s Lament (feat. Michael Buble) – What if the elves unionized and went on strike? Well apparently that’s what they’re considering. Tired of being pushed around by the “Fat Man” for all these years, the pointy-eared toysmiths have had enough! It’s a very catchy tune about an elf’s quest for fair wages and benefits. Could very well become the theme song for Occupy North Pole.

Christmas Pics – A lyrical snapshot of Every Family USA (or maybe in Barenaked Ladies’ case Every Family Canada) during the holidays. Lines like “brother we don’t agree, about the government or where to put the tree” and “turkey is done, we use our mitts, when is mom gonna get that hearing aid fixed” are like musical Polaroid’s of conversations we’ve all heard or been a part of when all the family is gathered under one roof (Sorry, that's the only video I could find for this one).

Some of the songs on the album, like I Saw Three Ships, sound like they were recorded in someone’s living room and have a cool sing-a-long vibe to them, which almost all Christmas songs should have. Except for O Holy Night, that’s definitely a soloist’s song. There are also several instrumental interludes that are consist of just a drum machine and keyboard. It’s like the Napoleon Dynamite soundtrack does Christmas. You’d think stuff like this would be kinda cheesy and lame, but Barenaked Ladies are (or should it be “is”? Are they plural or is the band singular?) so talented they all come off really well. Since it is Barenaked Ladies there is of course some off the wall stuff, like Deck the Stills which is to the tune of Deck the Halls but the only lyrics are Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young repeated over and over again. Weird, wild stuff.

All told, Barenaked for the Holidays is a solid addition to anyone’s Christmas (or Hanukkah) music library.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Unbroken

This past summer was undoubtedly the most difficult stretch of weeks of my life, both personally and professionally.  On the job, I was in the throes of a very difficult training program in an occupation fraught with danger, both physical and liability wise.  And things were not going real great.  At home, my wife was pregnant with our second child who was determined to force his entry into this world long before we expected him.  As a result, my wife had to be hospitalized, but the baby still came 10 weeks early and had to stay in the hospital for five weeks.  I took six weeks off of work and ended up deciding to take a voluntary demotion to be assured I could hold onto my health insurance and a job (remember, the training wasn't going great).

In the midst of all that, my parents gave me Laura Hillenbrand's latest book, Unbroken.  My dad had just finished it himself and gave it to me as an encouragement that even the most daunting of obstacles could be overcome.  After reading it, my problems this summer seem like the smallest of small potatoes.

Unbroken is the story of Louie Zamperini, son of Italian immigrants in post-war (as in WWI) Southern California.  At every stage of his life, Louie seems to be something out of a work of fiction.  As a child, he was as unruly as they come.  Smoking at five, drinking at eight, and an accomplished thief before junior high, his parents worked as hard at setting and enforcing boundaries as Louie did at breaking them.  He was the bane of his teachers and neighborhood windowsill pie coolers.  As big-hearted as he was mischievous, his older brother Pete once commented that Louie would give anything away, whether it was his or not.  More clever than your average pint-sized scamp, he once cut a deal with a rival to stage fights at the circus when he discovered adults would give quarters to kids to convince them to stop.

By the time he was nearing high school, Louie decided he had had enough of people trying to restrain him. After an argument with his father Louie packed a bag and left. It took only a few days before Louie realized his mistake and returned home, vowing to do better.

In high school, Pete, a star athlete himself, convinced Louie to go out for track. He saw potential in Louie, but even he could not have imagined the wealth of talent Louie had for running (a skill no doubt honed by years of running from his victims of thievery). Louie would go on to become one the greatest high school runners in American history, specializing in the mile.  He finished high school in 1935 and set his sights on making the Olympic team for the 1936 Berlin Summer Games.  However, there wasn't time to train sufficiently to make it as a miler, but Pete convinced him to attempt to qualify for the 5,000 meters, a race Louie had never run competitively.  Amazingly Louie qualified.  In the medal race Louie struggled early, but finished so fantastically that Hitler himself wanted to meet him and shake his hand.

After the 1936 Olympics Louie returned home with thoughts of college and training for the 1940 Games in his preferred field, the mile.  History had other plans.  The 1940 Olympics were to held in Tokyo, but were cancelled because of WWII.  Louie was crushed.  With the United States hurtling towards war, Louie enlisted in the Army, but washed out of the Army Air Corps and got a job as a movie extra.  What happened next was classic Louie:
He was working on the set of They Died with Their Boot On,...when a letter arrived.  He'd been drafted.  The induction date fell before the [film] would wrap, and Louie stood to earn a bonus if he stayed through the shoot.  Just before his army physical, he ate a fistful of candy bars; thanks to the consequent soaring blood sugar, he failed the physical.  Ordered to return a few days later to retake the test, he went back to the set and earned his bonus.  Then, on September 29, he joined the army.
Ironically, Louie ended up in the Air Corps anyway, as the bombardier on a B-24 Liberator, or as it was affectionately named by it's crews The Flying Coffin.  Louie and his crew were sent to the Pacific which, as fairly incredible as his life had already been, is where the story of Louie Zamperini really begins.

Louie flew a number of harrowing bombing and reconnaissance missions in the flying coffin, including one where the crew counted 594 bullet holes in their plane after they returned.  The beauty of his tropical island base was balanced by the horrors of war and the possibility that the next mission would be the last.  But the terrors of a bombing mission were nothing compared to what Louie was soon to endure.

The inevitability eventually caught up to Louie and his crew mates and their flying coffin finally lived up to its billing.  Shot down over the Pacific, Louie survived the crash with only two of the other nine crew members. Given what they were to face in the coming months, it may have seemed a better option to have been killed in the crash.  It's hard to imagine a worse scenario than three men, two badly injured, one physically and one mentally, on a tiny raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with virtually no provisions, but it did in fact get worse.  Progressively worse.  Just when you think it couldn't possibly, it somehow impossibly does.

The three survivors were punished with scorching sun in the daytime and bitter cold at night.  If they caught a scrawny bird to eat they considered it a feast.  And then there were the sharks.  From the very outset the shark attacks were unrelenting.  The accounts of these battles with the sharks would sound completely implausible had they not actually occurred.  Then when they spotted a plane and thought rescue was assured, they were met with strafing machine gun fire, filling their already dilapidated raft full of holes and making the men even more vulnerable to shark attacks.

When rescue did come, it was emblazoned with the Rising Sun.  Taken to a Japanese internment camp Louie may have expected to find some bit of respite despite being in the hands of the enemy.  At least there would be no sharks.  But man is often crueler than nature, and Louie was tormented by his captors.  They beat him, starved him, humiliated him and then did it again the next day.  One guard in particular, already widely known among Allied prisoners as being especially sadistic, made Louie his personal plaything.  The Bird, as he was called by his charges, took a kind of sick pleasure in treating Louie as mercilessly as possible.  It went beyond physical torment.  The Bird would beat Louie within inches of his life one day and the next day invite him to his bunk for tea and treat him cordially.  When it was discovered by the Japanese that Louie was a famous Olympian, they tried to use him as a propaganda tool.  The Bird took even greater pleasure in humiliating the once great, but now frail and mostly defenseless athlete.  For nearly two years Louie endured the worst treatment imaginable, and its hard to imagine him not longing for the days of shark attacks.

Miraculously, Louie never gave in to what had to be an unrelenting urge to just quit.  Either to let himself be beaten down (figuratively, as well as literally) and give up the will to live, or to take matters into his own hands and end the suffering.  But the boy who would not be contained or repressed was alive and well in Louie the man and he soldiered on.  After the war Louie was rescued and reunited with his family, who never gave up hope even though they were told he had been killed in action.

Understandably, Louie's return to normal life was anything but normal.  Haunted by his experiences, Louie drank and became an angry, surly soul.  The War Department sent him on countless speaking engagements around the country, which only served to grind down on him further.  He married not long after returning home, to a girl whose affluent parents were not thrilled by her daughters choice.  The strain that put on the marriage only made Louie drink more.  Between that and The Bird following him in his dreams, Louie sank further into depression and hatred, bent on returning to Japan someday, finding The Bird, and murdering him.

However, his emotional state became just another obstacle that Louie would overcome in his incredible life.  At the prodding of his wife he attended a Billy Graham crusade and eventually gave his life to Christ.  Louie became a different person.  He quit drinking and took to speaking about his recent transformation.  He was still determined to return to Japan, but not for his original purpose.  He had experienced forgiveness firsthand, and was now willing and able to forgive those who had made his life a living hell.

That's where I'll leave it.  I don't consider any of this to be spoilerish, as with a title like Unbroken you would expect there to be an uplifting ending.  Besides, Louie is a fairly well known personality, having carried the Olympic torch at a number of Games, including those in Nagano, Japan.  And yes, he is, not surprisingly I suppose, in his 90's and very much alive.

The book serves the purpose my parents had in mind, serving to encourage anyone facing long odds that success or survival is possible.  But it also serves as a motivator.  This guy went through all this and then had the will to remake his life when throwing in the towel would have seemed a reasonable option.  What am I doing with my life.

The book reads easy and you want to turn from one unbelievable page to the next to see what awful horrors Louie had to endure and how he endured them.

There are some pretty good videos on YouTube about Louie, including a profile CBS News did on him that aired (I think) during the Nagano Olympics.  I'd wait until reading the book to watch them, but if you're too lazy to read, I guess you could watch them instead.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

I Am Not A Critic

I am not a critic.  I didn't go to film school, I'm not a journalist, I do not have finely tuned tastes honed by years of discerning and discriminating choices.  I occasionally enjoy burgers fried by pimple faced high school students at chain restaurants, movies about asteroids on a collision course with Earth, and the musical stylings Neil Diamond.  I have committed to memory all of the lyrics to this song.  If I stumble upon an episode of Saved By the Bell, chances are that I've already seen it multiple times and that I will spend the next 20 minutes watching it again.  OK, that's a lie.  I never stumble upon episodes of Saved By the Bell.  I know exactly when its on.

Most would read the above and think I'm just another in the faceless American masses with bad taste and too much time on my hands.  And while that's not completely untrue, these are (mostly) conscious choices, rather than a lack of knowing better.  Some would argue that's worse than not knowing any better, but some would also argue that Avatar was a good movie.  I know a good movie, book, or meal when I see, read, or eat one (and Avatar was none of the above).

The problem with real critics, is that they're too...well, critical.  No, Armageddon is not a great, timeless piece of art to be revered and studied.  But on a Thursday night when I need a little mindless entertainment, it works (sort of).  They've been in the ivory tower a little too long and they've forgotten what it is to just sit down and just watch something for what it is, rather than dissecting every little detail.  Not to say their opinions should be totally disregarded (I enjoy me some Ebert or Sepinwall on a regular basis), but their highfalutin-ness can become tiresome, their elitism palpable.

Critical Error is a regular dude's attempt at reviewing for the masses. No, it's not going to exclusively be the domain of cheesy music, 80's sitcoms, and cliche' one-liner ridden action movies. I appreciate a good foreign film and am among The Wire's proselytizers.  To say I have a wide and eclectic taste in all things media would be a gross understatement, and I enjoy writing about the things I enjoy.  And some that I don't.  I've been told by my parents that I have a talent for the written word.  Several times, so you know it must be true.

And so here we are.

Here's what to expect in the coming days/weeks/months/years:  reviews of movies without the phrase "tour de force" or the word gestalt.  Reviews of books without phrases like "a crackling good yarn."  Basically, reviews that contain only words that actual normal people use on a regular basis (however, I do reserve the right to use a thesaurus when appropriate).  Mostly, they will be written by me, but hopefully I'll hornswoggle  (exercising the thesaurus rule there) friends of mine to contribute now and again.

Initially, I'll be putting up some reviews I did for my old personal blog.  They won't exactly be timely, but it'll give you something to took at before I can whip up a few relevant ones.  And I think they're pretty good, but I wrote them so I may be biased.  Also, I'll be tinkering with the layout and features of the blog, so if things look a little weird for awhile, that's why.  Lastly, I'll be putting some info up about my own standards and philosophies on what I read and watch.  I know, sounds really exciting.  Try to contain yourself.

So, please tell your friends, like on Facebook, tweet, link, email, bookmark, teletype, and come back.  Make comments.  Tell me how right I am that The Three Amigos is one of the greatest comedies of all time, or that by saying 2001: A Space Odyssey is overrated I'm making a--wait for it--Critical Error.

P.S.  For the record, I do think Armageddon is ridiculous.  But I still kinda like it.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford


Author's Note:  This is a review I wrote back in 2008 for my old personal blog, with a few minor modifications.  I present it here for your edification.

I’ve really been into westerns lately.  My lastest viewing is the recently released The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.  This movie is quite a contrast from 3:10 to Yuma.  It’s a much slower pace than 3:10 and while that movie was almost as much a psychological thriller as action movie, TAoJJbtCRF takes the psychological element to another level.  There are some thrilling scenes and some action, but at it’s heart it’s a character study of two pretty fascinating individuals.

The first is the famed gunslinger Jesse James played by Brad Pitt, who you may recognize from the Ocean’s ## movies and countless grocery store tabloid magazine covers.  Pitt plays James as a dangerous man living on the frayed edges of sanity.  In a few scenes he lets out a freaky laugh I don’t even know quite how to describe.  It’s not exactly manical, but it’s very effective in conveying James’ seemingly unstable grasp on self-restraint.  The glory days of the Frank and Jesse James gang are in the past and Jesse is looking for one last score before retiring into full time family life with his wife and two children.  Unfortunately, most of his former conspirers are either in prison or dead, some by his own suspicious hand, and his only resort is to bring along second string outlaws Charlie Ford and his brother Robert.  A decision that would prove fateful.

Robert Ford is played by Casey Affleck in an Oscar nominated performance that makes his older brother look like a hack.  Bob Ford was only twenty when he and his older brother hooked up with the James gang.  For most of his life he’d idolized Jesse James, reading stories of his exploits in dime novels and newspapers.  He knew just about everything there was to know about Jesse James, to the point of obsession.  His other great passion was his pursuit of personal glory and recognition.  He tells Frank James that he honestly believes he’s destined for great things…despite the fact that he has no special talents or abilities.  Affleck hit the role out of the park.  His Robert Ford is a cross between childlike admiration of James and a burning desire to be known, even if the path to notoriety is to cross his idol.

Through a series of interconnected events, the Ford brothers become involved in a murder that they fear will draw James’ wrath should he discover their involvement.  Knowing their days may be numbered they cut a deal with the authorities.  Whether they can pull it off is another matter.  The scenes surrounding the title event are excruciatingly tense and lend themselves to much post-viewing discussion.

**POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING**

If you aren’t familiar with the events of Jesse James’ death and would rather learn of them from the movie, don’t read this next section.

Why did Jesse take off his guns?  Was he really trying to set the Ford boys’ minds at ease after reading about the arrest and confession, a confession that could connect them with the aforementioned James-ire-inducing murder, of Dick Liddle in the newspaper, as Bob claimed?  Did he really not suspect that Bob and Charlie intended to kill him?  And if he did know, why didn’t he beat them to the punch?  Was it really because he wouldn’t kill them in the presence of his family?  Or was he a man at the end of his own rope, not willing or able to continue his increasingly paranoid life on the run?  Maybe he just wanted out?  The movie, and history, doesn’t always answer these questions clearly.

**END OF SPOILER**

Besides Affleck and Pitt, the rest of the acting is phenomenal.  Sam Shepard left me wanting more of his Frank James and Sam Rockwell is great as Robert Ford’s older brother Charlie.  It’s a pretty slow moving movie and it is long, but I never found myself getting bored, thanks in large part to the stunning photography of Roger Deakins.  Some have criticized it for being a bit self-indulgent at times, but it was such nice looking self-indulgence I guess I didn’t notice or care.  The soundtrack is simple and haunting and adds weight to every scene.  All-in-all a very worthwhile movie, for its cinematic qualities and the fascinating questions it raises about America’s foremost outlaw.  Here’s a trailer:


Monday, October 31, 2011

The King of Kong


Author's Note:  I wrote this review back in 2008 and am using it here to take up space for a while.  Enjoy.  Or don't.  Whatever.

I love documentaries about weird or quirky things.  I loved Errol Morris’ Gates of Heaven about pet cemeteries and I loved Up For Grabs about the dispute over Barry Bonds’ 73rd home run ball.  Who doesn’t love Trekkies I and II?  I even love pretend documentaries like A Mighty Wind and Spinal Tap.  So The King of Kong:  Fistful of Quarters was right up my alley.  The movie shows the battle between two grown men (with, semi-surprisingly, wives and children) for supremacy of score on a video game that’s over 25 years old: Donkey Kong.

In this corner, Gamer of the Century, world record holder at one time or another of five internationally recognized high scores on some of the world’s most well known video games, including Pac-Man and Donkey Kong.  His recognized Donkey Kong record has stood for 25 years, Billllllllly Mmmmmmitchell!

And in this corner, a newcomer to the Donkey Kong universe and father of two.  A gifted athlete and musician and a Jr. High science teacher, claiming to have beaten the all time high score on Donkey Kong in his garage, Steeeeeeeve Weeeeeeeeeeibeeee!

Steve Weibe and Billy Mitchell share very little in common save their savant-like talent for Donkey Kong.  Mitchell is the epitome of the irrationally arrogant geek.  Though in his case, the arrogance  might not be totally irrational.  A legend in the arcade gaming community for over 25 years, he is now a successful Florida hot sauce tycoon.  He is calculating, manipulative, and has the most ridiculous haircut I’ve ever seen, resembling Darth Vader’s helmet.  More arrogant than a Donkey Kong champion should ever be, he speaks in overly thought-out riddles and Machiavellian clichés.  At one point he even declares  himself as controversial as the abortion issue.

Weibe is intelligent and gifted, but has struggled to live up to his potential, starting with a disappointing pitching performance in a high school championship baseball game. Always a hard luck case, the day he and his wife signed papers on their house, he was laid off from his job at Boeing.  Quiet and unassuming, his failures have stuck with him and he’s looking for a chance at validation.  He's a sensitive soul, and a friend says he's seen Weibe cry more than any other guy he knows.

The battle begins when Weibe’s video tape of his record breaking Donkey Kong score, which he mailed to the recognized arbiter of all things classic arcade, Twin Galaxies, was called into question.  Only a live score could be verified beyond a shadow of a doubt, he was told, a rule that apparently only applies in certain cases.  Weibe travels to Funspot in New Jersey for a big gaming event sponsored by Twin Galaxies in an attempt to square off with Mitchell face to face and beat his score in public.  Funspot is a haven for nerdery; a lot of paunches, bad hair, and black denim.

I don’t want to give too much of the story away.  I’ll tell you that Mitchell doesn’t show up at Funspot, but a video tape of his apparent latest record-breaking game comes out and is accepted as legit, even though Weibe’s tape was rejected.  The Twin Galaxies crew and a lot of their sycophantic disciples are a pretty protective bunch and Weibe is the outsider trying to break into this strange world.  He’s treated shabbily by most of these snobby dorks at first (they constantly mispronounce his name as weeb when it should be pronounced wee-bee), but after he doggedly continues to travel to these events to prove his legitimacy, even to Mitchell’s hometown, they come to respect him, and even like him.

Really, this isn’t a movie about Donkey Kong.  It’s about the drive to succeed and be recognized for your accomplishments on their own merits (even if it’s something as inconsequential as a video game) and not because of who you are or who you know.  Don’t get me wrong, the movie is hilarious in its absurdity, but it works on a deeper level as well.

A good documentary should let its subjects tell the story by showing them just as they are and not manipulate to affect the viewers perspective.  There were some moments that seemed a little contrived, but on the whole I think they played it pretty straight.  Even if you’re not into video games (or nerds) this is definitely worth the hour and twenty and is one of the best movies of 2007.